Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
