My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
