i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
