When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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