I want to stick my p in your. b.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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