dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
