He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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