Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
