oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's the barista slut.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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