I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize