I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
false alarm. still invincible.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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