just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
