What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
