nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
