You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
