You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
where does the pee come out of this thing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Damn victory sex feels great
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize