Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
