Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
