i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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