I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
