If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
