I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
