Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
