Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize