I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize