I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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