Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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