I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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