I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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