thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
