he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
