Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
