No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize