Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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