Well douche your snatch and let's go!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
