I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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