my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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