I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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