my mouth tastes like poor choices
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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