There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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