So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
