I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
