how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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