would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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