you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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