Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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