Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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