Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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