Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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