So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
