I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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