He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
