either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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