please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
