i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
