The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i wish my penis had a tongue
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
