Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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