jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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