I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
