Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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