i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
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I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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