woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
